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How to Deal with Impure Thoughts
All sexual sins are either sins in thought, word, or deed. Sinful words and deeds are rooted in impure thoughts. If by God’s grace we grow in the purity of our thoughts, then we will grow greatly in chastity. Jesus offers to all members of the Confraternity a special grace to grow in the purity of thought. But in order to go along with these graces, we need to know a bit about impure thoughts, and how to deal with them. So, how should one deal with impure thoughts? It is important to note first that not all thoughts about sexual matters are impure. Human beings cannot always avoid thinking about sex. Sometimes we have to think about it. For example, one may be taking a biology class, or be learning about sexually transmitted disease, or be studying sexual morality (such as this article). Wisdom tells us that in such cases humans can and should think about sex, but in ways that are discreet and never intended to tempt oneself or others to sin. If however such legitimate thoughts or conversations about sex are not discreet, or become tempting unto sin, then one needs to switch the train of thought or the course of conversation (more below on how to do so).
In fact, the best way to deal with impure thoughts is to make the sign of the cross, call upon Jesus, Mary, and St. Thomas, and remember Christ and him crucified.”
Second, many thoughts about sexual matters are involuntary. Often, we only become aware of having thoughts about and desires for sex right in the middle of our having them. For example, driving down the freeway one may see a billboard with images designed to arouse, or one may land on a website, overhear a joke, see an immodestly dressed person, or in some other way stumble into images, words, or other things that trigger such thoughts. In such cases, we did not choose to start having these thoughts, and we may not even want to be having them, but alas we are having them. Such involuntary thoughts are not yet sinful. Only free choices are sinful. If one suddenly becomes aware of having sexual thoughts without first choosing to have them, then one has not yet sinned. Sin is a possibility only once one freely chooses to deal with sexual thoughts in one way or another. If one recognizes a certain sexual thought as impure (as contrary to chastity) and nonetheless freely chooses to initiate or prolong the impure thought, then one sins against the virtue of chastity. The road to an unchaste words and deeds begins with such free consent to impure thoughts. But if one recognizes a sexual thought as impure and resists it, one does well. One grows in chastity. That is why God sometimes permits temptation. It can be an opportunity to grow in virtue. So, it is important to resist those sexual thoughts that we recognize as impure. But precisely how does one resist them?
When it comes to sexual thoughts, it is better to take flight than to fight. If I say to you “don’t think about pink elephants”, then what will you think about? Pink elephants. Similarly, if one fights impure thoughts by saying to oneself “don’t think about sex”, or “don’t think about him”, or “don’t think about her”, then what will one think about? Sex, or him, or her. In the face of tempting sexual thoughts, one should instead try to escape the thought. But how can anyone escape his or her own thoughts? We carry our thoughts with us wherever we go.
One escapes a tempting sexual thought by distraction. When bombarded with tempting sexual thoughts, one should distract oneself by thinking of something else. Calmly turn to another thought. Although any other thought might do, Confraternity members should think ahead and plan to turn their thoughts to Jesus, Mary, and St. Thomas Aquinas the next time they find themselves tempted with impure thoughts. In fact, we should even speak the names “Jesus” and “Mary” and call upon St. Thomas Aquinas for help. It is important to turn to thoughts of Jesus and Mary, and speak their names, because these two names are known to cause demons to flee. And some (but not all) sexual temptations come from demons. In fact, the best way to deal with impure thoughts is to make the sign of the cross, call upon Jesus, Mary, and St. Thomas, and remember Christ and him crucified. If in some cases impure thoughts persist and it is not easy to escape them simply by turning one’s thoughts to something else, it is good to turn one’s whole body to something else by some sort of change of physical activity, e.g. washing one’s face in cold water, going for a walk outside, doing some exercise, playing a musical instrument, or kneeling down to pray the Rosary – especially the mystery of the Scourging at the Pillar.
By the Director of the Angelic Warfare Confraternity
Dominican Province of St. Joseph
